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Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
James Thurber
Topics:
Funny
,
Like
,
Why
All men are equal before fish.
Herbert Hoover
Topics:
Equal
,
Fish
,
Funny
I have an unfortunate personality.
Orson Welles
Topics:
Funny
,
Personality
,
Unfortunate
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns
Topics:
City
,
Family
,
Funny
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
Saul Bellow
Topics:
Advice
,
Ask
,
Funny
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Jules Renard
Topics:
Funny
,
Nothing
,
Tired
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
Topics:
Funny
,
Interrupt
,
Want
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
Les Dawson
Topics:
Funny
,
Furniture
,
Living
Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.
James Joyce
Topics:
America
,
Everyone
,
Funny
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
Charles M. Schulz
Topics:
Funny
,
Love
,
People
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