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If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Tallulah Bankhead
Topics:
Funny
,
Life
,
Mistakes
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.
Dave Barry
Topics:
Body
,
Funny
,
Will
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Laurence J. Peter
Topics:
Art
,
Fine
,
Funny
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
Jack Benny
Topics:
Arthritis
,
Award
,
Deserve
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley
Topics:
Funny
,
Great
,
Know
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
Topics:
Funny
,
I Am
,
Political
Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
Don Marquis
Topics:
Cloud
,
Difficult
,
Funny
I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
Imelda Marcos
Topics:
Funny
,
Pairs
,
Shoes
I have never been hurt by what I have not said.
Calvin Coolidge
Topics:
Funny
,
Hurt
,
Never
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Fred Allen
Topics:
Funny
,
Long
,
Me
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