smartyquotes.com
Quotes for all occasions
Home
Authors
Topics
Funny Quotes
Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.
Norman Douglas
Topics:
Funny
,
Never
,
People
We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity – romantic love and gunpowder.
Andre Maurois
Topics:
Funny
,
Humanity
,
Love
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
Abraham Lincoln
Topics:
Coffee
,
Funny
,
Me
You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz
Topics:
Funny
,
Good
,
Haircut
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
George Bernard Shaw
Topics:
Dance
,
Family
,
Funny
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
Topics:
Always
,
Funny
,
Government
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel
Topics:
Everyone
,
Funny
,
Right
I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
Paula Poundstone
Topics:
Funny
,
Know
,
Mother
Who included me among the ranks of the human race?
Joseph Brodsky
Topics:
Funny
,
Me
,
Race
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Topics:
Confused
,
Evil
,
Funny
Posts navigation
Previous
1
2
3
4
5
Next